- Details
HSBC Service Improving Every Day
Where are these people going? Could they be going to the headquarters of venerable bank HSBC, you know, The World’s Local Bank that you can only access if you live in China or Hong Kong because it doesn’t have any arrangements with any ATM providers except Union Pay?
Why, you say. Why would they be going there. Can’t they just make a call? Er, no. Not if they want to have any questions answered.
The other day I for some reason opened my electricity bill. I never do normally, for of course I have autopay. But this time I did, and bugger me senseless if it didn’t say: “URGENT Unsuccessful AutoPay, Reason not available. Please contact your bank.” Wow! Good thing I opened it, eh? I noticed the bill was also twice the amount of what it usually is. Maybe the autopay exploded.
Because the HSBC in Mui Wo for some reason is closed on Wednesdays (maybe the staff go to their self-criticism sessions that day?) I decided to call. First I had to press numbers for about 10 minutes after listening to a lengthy sermon about not giving out your PIN number under any circumstance. Any!
Then I listened to music for 23 minutes. Then this voice came on. “喂"？I said. “Only English”. OK. I explained the situation.
“What’s your bank account?”
“What? I’ve already entered it to get to a human… oh very well.” I told her.
“Just say yes or no: Do you have a six digit phone banking code?”
“No.”
“Enter your six digit phone banking code.”
“What? No! I don’t have phone banking.”
“Please enter your six digit phone banking code, followed by the…”
I realised I was talking to a machine.
So between the “only UnionPay because we’re the world’s local bank” (in all fairness there are some banks in Australia and Thailand that also have Union Pay but certainly not in for example Norway where I spent a cash-less week in May, spending half my holiday running from ATM to ATM to check) and the non-human “service” phone AND closed on Wednesdays and Saturdays, I’d say HSBC has pretty much cornered the market.
銀行 (An hong – silver trade/bank)
匯豐銀行 (Wui fong an hong – Remittance Ample Silver Trade/HSBC)
中電 (Jung din – CLP)
- Details
Last HAVE! For now
I just thought I’d get in some product placement before lunchtime! To which you’d probably respond: 你有冇攪錯呀！(Lei yau mou gaau cho ah – you must be joking!) That’s right, there is no ‘have’ or ‘not →
Have! More!
In yesterday’s article I talked about how expressions containing the word ‘have’ in English hardly ever contain 有 (yau – have) in Cantonese, such as have some Mons (飲雪花 yam Suet Fa – Drink Snow →
HAVE!
I love English but sometimes its over-reliance on certain words to describe wildly different things irks me. Take the word have. While it’s nowhere near the top word, as in the word with the most →
Learn English The Unnatural Way – From A Hong Kong Dictionary!
Dedicated to Alan, Frank and Jo Here is an article from a time of deep depression but also joy and light. It’s long but, I hope, edifying. You’ll find words – English words this time →
Tidying Up 執嘢
I don’t have time to write anything today! I’ve been overcome by a strange Protestant work ethic and have spent the day tidying up 執嘢 (jap yeh – collect/tidy things) and throwing things away. The →
Frustrated And A Half!
Finally, after almost a year of writing and researching (the research consisted mostly of doing the dishes) I have finished my new book CHILLies! Sichuan Food Made Easy. It looked so alluring with the iBook →
Have You Ever Been To?
While writing about 墨西哥 (Mak Sai Go – Mexico) the other day, I started thinking about other countries I absolutely must go to. The first one on my list is, naturally, North Korea 北韓 (Bak →
Longing For Desert
People in Hong Kong have short memories. Last week it rained a bit. I think it started Monday. By Tuesday it was all “oh, I’m so SICK of this RAIN! Will it EVER stop?” Interestingly, →
Author’s Plight
酒！ Jau! Wine! As they call it. It’s actually a deadly spirit so vile that it should only be used for paint stripping and permanently disfiguring your enemies. Strangely, the (mainland) Chinese drink it with →
Even More About That 嗰!
The New China Bookshop in Guangzhou, or actually, the New China Bookshop in general, is a real treasure trove. Look what I found there last weekend, a map of Mexico with all the towns and →
- Details
Advice
Hoi hoi! Everybody everywhere, I can’t say this often enough: When you’re learning Cantonese: Get your course material in order. Something like the folder above, purchased by R, separating the material into categories, clearly labelled. R’s Canto ability increased by 20% the week she started to use the folder.
Also, make your own handy dictionary by entering all new words into a small notebook with index. A is for Apple, B is for Bastard and you put Expressions under X! If you’re not learning Cantonese and you live in hong Kong, do yourself a favour and start today.
- Details
The Fastest Route To Linguistic Proficiency EVER
I’ve just come back from a weekend in inner Guangdong province, cradle of Cantonese language and culture, with the above delightful couple, Ah Laan and Ah Gei. I knew they would like the funky and →
You Saw It Here First:
You know how Christmas comes earlier every year? Well, we here in Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau have beaten off the competition by starting Christmas and the story behind it IN JANUARY! By the →
Today’s Classifier：間
一間茶餐廳 “Yat Gan Cha Chanteng” – One Room of Tea Restaurant. “Gan” 間 is the classifier for buildings and rooms, as in 一間廁所 “Yat Gan Chi So” (One Room of Toilet) – A Toilet, 一間酒店 “Yat →
A Victory
I just have to post this comment from one of my students, ah Laan, here. She, as well as I and everybody who’d ever attempted to take on the Canto, has fought through being answered →
Today’s Classifier
Repeat after me: YAT JEK GAU 一隻狗 ONE DOG That’s right! “Jek” (隻) is the classifier for mammals, things of which there are two (一隻眼睛）yat jek an jeng (one eye), round things, so an eye →
Living The Vida Canto
Every Wednesday I meet these two delightful women, Ah Bek and Ah Wai, plus three others, in a Jau Lau （酒樓，Chinese restaurant) for tea, dim sam and Canto. All the waiters and waitresses love us! →
Learn Chinese Characters Without Really Trying
This is ah-Fa, one of my long-term Cantonese students. You see that piece of paper she’s reading? I wrote that the same morning and emailed it to her. Out of all those Chinese characters, there →
2010 – The Year Of The Canto
Perhaps you’ve made some new year resolutions this year, and broken them already. Here is one that won’t hurt, but on the contrary will enrich you no end for the decades to come: Decide that →
Now I Know How Mothers Feel …
… when their children take their first steps etc. Intense pride! And laughing their heads off. At least I did. This is Kelly, aka Ah-Gei, who has been learning Cantonese for a few weeks. Bloody →
Learn Cantonese – Then Sit Back And Wait For The English
I’ve made a film about my experiences during 20 years of learning Cantonese. Cantonese is a really easy language to learn (contrary to people’s deep-held, sacred beliefs) – it’s just that it’s so damned difficult →
Contact us today
Email info@learncantonese.com.hk
to find out how you can start learning Cantonese.