What Are The Chances?

Yesterday I got a new student and bugger me if he wasn’t … Mexican! I mean, what are the chances? Before I went to Mexico, I had only ever met three Mexicans: Hector, a guy →

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Is being a Luddite with a Mac an oxymoron? But sometimes I think that’s what I am. Here I am, trying to make Cantonese a world language – in Hong Kong! the very stronghold of →

Girlie Morning in Nature

Are spiders actually really stupid? I mean they can spin these beautiful webs, masterpieces of engineering and all that, but are they a bit dim all the same?
This morning I had the first proper dog walk in a week, and Koldbrann and I walked up a remote-ish path where no one had probably been for a while because of the rain. All at once I felt this thing on my arm and it was a spider web (beautiful and a masterpiece of, etc,) stretched out across the path at chest height.

The builder, one of those black and yellow jobbies but quite small so maybe young and stupid, hurried off in the other direction while I was left extracting myself from the sticky net. I thought: what a silly plonker to put the web so low. But for me personally it was actually much better to get caught in a chest height web than a face-height web. As it was, I said nothing and just walked on. I didn’t even swear. That’s for silly girls, not grown women with a purpose, I thought, congratulating myself on my icy calm.

However, when a long snake slithered around my ankle and across my foot a few seconds later, I couldn’t help uttering a strangled yelp. It was just so sudden. Unlike other snakes I have touched, this one was actually cold and slippery, having darted out from the underbrush where a week of constant rain had made for soggy conditions. So, not so icy calm after all, but just a big sissy. Sigh.

蜘蛛 (ji jyu – spider)
蜘蛛網(ji jyu mohng – spider web)
蛇 (seh – snake)

Did you know biophobia (a fear of nature) is a thing? Naturally, it’s quite prevalent in Hong Kong. I made a film about it a few years ago. No, two! Here’s the first. The language explanation is all about yesterday’s article, by the way. That and those.

Naked Cantonese Is No More

It is with great sadness I must inform our irate but faithful listeners that Poddie Castie number 200 is soon coming up, and that it will herald the end of Naked Cantonese as we know it.

It’s been four years (an eternity in Hong Kong time) and a fantastic ride. We’ve been contacted by people from all over the world and had many of them on the show – thanks to everybody for even listening, and for writing to our Facebook page.

I’ve had the pleasure of informing people that ‘Good Friday’ in Cantonese is “Jesus experiences difficulties-festival” FOUR times, so I don’t feel too bad about hanging up the microphone. There will of course be a party (see our Facebook page for details later) and I hope our listeners will make an extra effort between now and June 7th to make the last few shows extra memorable.

This is not the end, however, of my life mission to make Cantonese a world language. When one door closes, you bash out the window! So I hope everybody who loves Cantonese, or even likes it just a little bit, or even likes it just because liking it irritates the shit out of our dour Mandarin (an imperialistic shit-language) -speaking brethren up north, will write or call in with requests, rants, complaints, ideas, advice, memories and stories.

Naked Cantonese is officially putting its clothes back on. That signals … it’s time to roll up the sleeves.

Sichuan Province, Sichuan Food

Here’s a gaff in my favourite village in all of China, Chuanxing 川興 (Chuen Heng) near famous satellite centre Xichang 西昌 (Sai Cheung) where the moon is rounder and brighter than in the rest of China. The people living in it have long since abandoned it, or perhaps they were driven out during the Cultural Revolution when the government decided to force families to share their houses with all sorts of strangers. Or maybe they all starved to death during the Great Leap Forward, when Sichuan, the Larder of China, suffered more than any other province.

Whatever happened, these geezers would have been there.

I’ll never forget the day in 2002 when I got off the train there for the first time and saw the glittering emerald rice paddies and chewed down on my first Sichuan dish:

It was so beautiful, I almost cried. Yes, the scenery was lovely too, but the FOOD!

It’s tricky to get to Sichuan from Hong Kong and I haven’t been in years. Fortunately I have its cooking to sustain me and this Saturday, November 7th at 7pm I’ll share it all with you.

Only $350 per person including beer!

Bring a friend – and meet new people too! Right here in the very centre of throbbing metropolis Pui O, Lantau Island.

大躍進 (Daai yeuk jeun – Great Leap Forward)
大革命 (Daai gaak meng – Cultural Revolution)
四川 (Sei Chuen – Four Rivers/Sichuan)
川菜 (Chuen choy – River vegetable/Sichuan food)