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The Fastest Route To Linguistic Proficiency EVER
I’ve just come back from a weekend in inner Guangdong province, cradle of Cantonese language and culture, with the above delightful couple, Ah Laan and Ah Gei. I knew they would like the funky and surreal aspects of Guangdong and the mainland as a whole, and they did. Here they are on the bus going to mystical Gongleng Jok Hoi (Guang Ling Zhu Hai) – an incredible bamboo forest now sadly ruined by over-development to attract more tourists.
Here they are coming out of a bamboo toilet, the directions to which they have just asked for and been given – in flawless Cantonese:
If you want to learn Cantonese fast, nothing beats going to a small town in Guangdong province and navigate it by yourself, with your kind instructor (me) hovering at a respectful distance or simply not being there. There’s no better teacher than having no choice but try to get your point across to people who don’t speak English at all. Here we see Ah Gei later that evening, playing Chinese poker and cavorting with locals in their own language.
Guangdong people seem to be crazy about foreigners, and countless times we were stopped by locals who wanted to have their photo taken with us. That was just another option for Ah Laan and Ah Gei to practise their Cantonese, so naturally they embraced every opportunity.
Apart from the fun and the great food and beer, being dragged into karaoke bars and other bars by locals and not allowed to pay for anything, being given boxes of oranges and local delicacies and in general treated like kings, Ah Gei and Ah Laan learnt more Cantonese during this weekend in the mainland than in a whole month in Hong Kong.
You can do it too!
I’ve started guided tours to destinations in a radius of three to four hours’ travel from Hong Kong – by bus or train. If you’re disenchanted with the slick “shopping-at-Harvey Nichols-drinking- latte- in the- gym” world of Hong Kong; if you’re bored with Boracay and Phuket and shrieking tour guides bossing you around the Forbidden City; if you want to see some of the real China, I can take you there.
If you want to learn Cantonese or just have a really excellent time visiting places you had no idea existed, communicating with locals you would otherwise never have met, seeing a world hidden from the normal Hong Kong city dweller, then join my weekend tours to Guangdong province. In fact, why not start this Chinese New Year?
There’s a bus waiting just across the border …
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HSBC Service Improving Every Day
Where are these people going? Could they be going to the headquarters of venerable bank HSBC, you know, The World’s Local Bank that you can only access if you live in China or Hong Kong →
Red Tide And Dragging Editing
Ahhrghhh! I normally love making and editing films but this one from Hainan Island is dragging. Is it because I made it a long time ago and it’s no longer fresh? Or is it because →
The Mandarin Behemoth Juggernaut Destroyer
Sleepy backwater Pui O, a haven of backwaterishness and sleepiness. Who would think this village and especially its beach would become a hub for mainlanders on shopping sprees? They spend the days shopping in the →
SUNDAY: Podding Along, Heading For The Cast
Before Cantonese, a little sad and wistful Woo-hoo! It’s moving forward so fast. Got a great little group together for Radio Lantau’s Cantonese course CantoNews! Making podcasts from all over this wondrous island, we’re going →
Luddite Dog Day Afternoon
I’m going to a big birthday outside Hong Kong soon and I thought a good present would be a tailor-made calendar with photos from Hong Kong and China feauturing the birthday boy’s son and daughter-in-law. →
Ahhhrghhhh! So Sorry Sorry Sorry I Haven’t Said This Before!
Well, I haven’t not said it before but only to a handful of people: if you’re a student of mine studying at the hallowed halls of Honolulu or just want to go to legendary Honolulu →
Bureaucrats Will Be The Death Of Me
This morning, as most mornings, I went to the beach with my trusty dogs Koldbrann and Lasi. It was raining vigorously, a phenomenon not uncommon in Hong Kong and southern China. Rain is water, water →
It’s A Miracle, Isn’t It?
I love my house, my beach and my island (Lantau Island in Hong Kong) but sometimes I wish it was just a little bit closer to Shenzhen! Going there is, quite frankly, a bit of →
Learn Cantonese Free! Wanted: Partner In Crime For Podcasts
Wei wei wei, do you remember Naked Cantonese on RTHK? I do. Oh, happy times with ah-Sa! The laughter, the tears! We travelled to public toilets and other wonderful places; one one weird occasion we →
SUNDAY: Lay Down My Weary, Oily Load
Last night I cooked for eight people, Sichuan food naturally. Now I’ve got the mother of all washings-up to grapple with. Cooking for eight people is three days’ work altogether and the dish-washing is pretty →
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“Don’t Look at my Spleen!”
Here is an interview I did for Radio Lantau a couple of weeks ago, with Edward Bunker from Mui Wo. Every single person I told this to said the same: “Oh, he’s lovely!” Not a →
Books Books Books
Can you learn Cantonese from a book? I would say no, not least because of the crazy spelling that bear little or no resemblance to the sound of the words. Can you indeed learn any →
Beautiful Day On “Dark” Side
It’s so much fun to have friends visiting Hong Kong, especially when the day they arrive kicks off a week of unprecedented beautiful weather! I shouldn’t say unprecedented; the weather was probably like this every →
How Now, Guangdong Prov?
I’m just about to write my last column ever for South China Morning Post; ever! When I was told the page would be discontinued, I was so sad. How now would I be able to →
CantoNews 5 Live From Roof!
Hello everybody, welcome to my roof! I normally arrange Sichuan dinners and lunches there, but this time it doubled as a recording studio for the best Cantonese news currently available on cassette! (And telex.) Talking →
Running Interview Live from Garden Café
A couple of weeks ago I interviewed the beautiful and delightful Zein Williams, mother of three and tireless champion for the Nepali people about her life and work – with the earthquake victims especially – →
CantoNews Live From Oi Kwan Hotel
Oh Cassette! Two weeks ago we went up to Guangzhou to see him live in his stand-up glory at a place called… Panda something? No! Paddyfield, an Irish pub right behind the Garden Hotel. Cassette →
Wetlands Lament
Above: BEFORE. Halcyon days of yore, etc. A part of the interlinked Pui O wetlands in 2012. A lovely, lush vista scattered with grazing water buffalo, egrets, starlings and other creatures, even fish have seen →
New Programme on Radio Lantau
IMPORTANT!!! When you click on the link, scroll down to the alphabetical archive and click on C. Then you’ll see both my programmes. This isn’t strictly about Cantonese and it certainly isn’t about me, but →
FINALLY!!!!
Ohhh this has been a long time coming! I didn’t realise how much I’d been missing Naked Cantonese and ah-Sa (mine co-host of yore) before I started to make podcasts – properly – again only →
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Do Yourself A Favour, Go To The Dentist!
I’m so afraid of the dentist, I go every four months. That sounds like a contradiction and a half, but it’s true. Going every four months gives me peace of mind and no cavities. (Also, I don’t have to be over-scrupulous with the old flossing, a daily hygiene regimen I follow less than let’s say famous serial killer/blood spatter analyst Dexter.)
It wasn’t always thus. Last year I had to have four painful uncomfortable mouth operations because I had “forgotten” to go to the dentist for… seven years!
It’s a long story, and in fact I explain it all in this article:
Fortunately my friend David introduced me to the best dentist in Hong Kong, Andrew Chan, room 803, 70 Queen’s Road Central, 2601 9100 in early 2014. Not only is he efficient and reasonably priced, he’s also a damned good dentist and apologises every time something slightly uncomfortable happens, such as making me open my mouth. Best of all, he has Canto pop videos running in the ceiling! Yesterday I was treated to ten minutes of Canto stalwart Alan Tam bopping around the stage in shiny silver trousers, his fans swooning away. Now I go to the dentist with a smile on my face and a spring in my step!
I really recommend going to the dentist often. Teeth are so useful, I find.
牙 (Ah – teeth)
牙醫 (Ah yi – dentist)
四個月 (Sei go yuet – four months)
四個月一次 (Sei go yuet yat tsi – four months one time/once every four months)
譚詠麟 (Tam Weng Lun – Alan Tam)
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Learn Sichuan Cooking!
Woo-hooo! WE did that! the happy cooks A, K and D are beaming, so pleased with themselves after studying Sichuan cooking for only two hours.
(Chuanxing village spicy potato cake)
Now you can also learn the basics of this most wonderful of cuisines, impress the hell out of your friends and have wholesome and mega-delicious food at your fingertips.
Contact me here for more information about my cooking courses, dinners and lunches for up to 16 people – and of course my crash courses and regular courses in lovely, succulent, funny and happening Cantonese!
我教你煮川菜 – O gau lei jyu chuen choi (I teach you to cook Sichuan food)
你同我學廣東話 －Lei tong o hok gong dong wah (You learn Cantonese from me)
廣東話好容易學 – Gong dong wah hou yongyi hok (Cantonese is easy to learn)
Contact us today
Email info@learncantonese.com.hk
to find out how you can start learning Cantonese.