My Groove! My Groove! Why Are You Forsaking Me?
Last week I received some shocking news: My banjo teacher is leaving. What??? Now that everything was going so well? Not only do we do the old-fashioned and also modern thing of bartering skills; I teach him Cantonese and he teaches me the banjo, but he lives two minutes’ walk from my house.
I took up the banjo 班卓琴 (ban jeuk kam) a year and a half ago to empathise with my victims students. I felt I had to do what I told them to do, practise something daily; something that wasn’t built in a day.
So I met this guy, Adam, working as a banjo-player at Disney who lived two minutes’ walk from my house and who wanted to learn more Cantonese! What were the chances? Only in his twenties, he was a musical genius and could play all instruments. Then he left, but get this: His younger brother Austin also plays the banjo, is a musical genius and wants to study Cantonese! And lives two minutes’ walk away!
So a seamless transition took place.
But now Austin is leaving too and I’ve run out of musically gifted brothers. I’m sure I can teach myself the banjo but actually, it’s not as easy as it looks. 亞天, 唔好走呀! (Ah-Tin, m hou jau ah! Austin, don’t leave!)
What to do now? Sigh.
Here is my first public performance under Adam’s tutelage, Swiss Toilet Groove:
我要去廁所
Mel: You Are My Sunshine
Written for the banjo by Cecilie Gamst Berg
我要去廁所, 去廁所屙屎
我食咗芝士, 食咗太多
冇廁所鎖匙,咁我去瑞士
試吓紫色瑞士廁所
啲瑞士廁所,有自私獅子
食廁所廁紙,你知唔知
我冇食廁紙,我食咗芝士
會去瑞士廁所屙屎
O yiu heui chiso, heui chiso o si
O sek jo chisi, sek jo tai do
Mou chiso sosi, gam o heui Seuisi
Si ha chisek Seuisi chiso
Di Seuisi chiso, yau jisi sichi
Sek chiso chiji, lei ji m ji?
O mou sek chiji, o sek jo chisi
Wui heui Seuisi chiso o si
I must go toilet, go toilet defecate
I eat-done cheese, eat-done too much
I haven't toilet key, so I go Switzerland
Try purple Swiss toilet
Swiss toilets have selfish lions
Eat toilet paper, you know not know?
I haven't eaten toilet paper
I eat-done cheese
Will go Switzerland toilet defecate