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Cantonese – The Easiest Language in the World?
When I started learning Cantonese there was no shortage of Chinese people warning me against it. At that time the most common refrain was: “It’s too difficult – for you“. OK, maybe they didn’t emphasise →
Enormous Oversight
About those language teaching videos (one Cantonese for beginners, one Cantonese for the more adventurous and, yes! I admit it! Even a survival Mandarin video called Stay Grounded) – all these years they’ve had this →
肇慶 Beautiful Siu Heng – Great As Long As You Don’t Dabble
Oh China. I love you so much. This is Siu Heng, the town where, on top of the many scraggy crags, there are signs (signage) exhorting people not to “parapet”. No Parapeting! the signs say →
Big Shots in China
威士忌 – Wai si gei (Whisky) 酒店 – jau dim (Hotel) 唔舒服 – m syu fuk (Not well)
In The Market for Grooviness
Here is an excellent way to practise and learn more Cantonese: Going to the market with your very own Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau. This is how it works: First we sit down with →
SUNDAY: Semi-Dignified Farewell
Yesterday I dragged myself up Lantau Peak to scatter the ashes of a dear friend who died in April. It really made me admire even more those brave souls who participated in the Moontrekker thing →
New Podcast For Beginners! CantoNews 2
Woo-hoooo! Everybody everywhere! Now you can learn Cantonese absolutely free with the help of Lantau people. Although the Lantau podcasts CantoNews are strictly for and by Lantau people – what the hell, anyone can listen! →
What Are The Chances?
Yesterday I got a new student and bugger me if he wasn’t … Mexican! I mean, what are the chances? Before I went to Mexico, I had only ever met three Mexicans: Hector, a guy →
Burglary Warning To Lantau People (and Everybody)
So on Saturday I hosted a Sichuan dinner for twelve people, three of whom called and said they were lost. I had to rush out in mid-stuffing of dumplings to fetch them. (It was the →
Long Live the Entrepreneurial Spirit! And Beer!
I can’t control myself – I must show it: Mister Public Security Uncle photographed by a professional photographer! It was the night before Halloween and I was strolling around Central with my vice-Security officer, Bak →
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Arresting Rugby
Last Saturday Mister Public Security Uncle took a trip to Wan Chai to join in the rugby revelling and cavorting, as well as spreading the word of Canto.
Fun much? I have always laughed (in my mouth) of people who drink beer with a straw, but because of the moustache I had to do just that. It tasted exactly the same! I’m considering switching to straw-beer-drinking on a permanent basis. I want to make a film with Mister Public Security Uncle again, but can’t find a topic. Because everything’s allowed nowadays. Does anyone have a good idea for whom I can arrest?
This cheerful chap begged me to arrest him, whereas British guys were all interested to know if my truncheon had batteries. Women, if you feel ignored by men, put on a uniform and a moustache! Men will flock to you.
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Wild Easter
Did you know that “Good Friday” is called “Jesus experiences difficulties festival” (耶穌受難節）（ye sou sao laan jit) in Chinese? I bet you didn’t. But now you know, and by going on an Easter trip with →
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Cantonese Fundamentalism: The Book
People: Bugger me down if I haven’t written a new book! Mind you it’s five years since the last one so I can’t see why not …
At Last: My Own Podcasts. Called OUTCASTS.
It’s happened at last: After months of hard work and sacrifice, behold my own podcast. It puts the FUN back in Fundamentalist!
Cantonese Crash Curse. I Mean Course.
Wei wei, Friday night it’s full forge ahead again with Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau’s Cantonese FUNdaMENTAList Crash Course!!!! You’ll learn everything you need to know about drinking in bars, paying for drinks and →
Deeply Embarrassed
Yep, here it is. The entire protest against Mandarin taking over and squeezing out the regional languages. Well, actually, there were more people. Two more. One was me and the other one an organiser. So, →
Rally! Rally! Rally!
My friend told me she had seen a large banner in Guangzhou saying “Be civilised, speak the civilised language.” (What? You don’t know what the civilised language is? It’s not Cantonese, that’s for sure.) I’m →
So Many Ways To Learn Canto!
As imperial-Mando encroaches on our linguistic liberties, it goes without saying that more and more people who don’t like to be dictated to, want to learn Cantonese. But many are concerned about time, commitment, pain, →
Cantonese Forever Part II: Big Brother Knows Best
Some people say – well, so what if Mandarin became the official language (or as the South China Morning Post in its endless contortions to please everybody twists it into, the “official dialect”) of Hong →
Cantonese Forever!
Wah! So exciting! Here is the true story of what went down in old Guangzhou that fateful day in July.
Language In Symbols
Tibetan Prayer Flags Chinese Prayer Flags
Learn By Doing
Here is Peter (ah-Dak) who’s been taking Canto lessons with me for some months now. When we went on our first trip to Guangdong province together at the end of last year, he immediately went →
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to find out how you can start learning Cantonese.