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On The Road Again
Yes, although this isn’t strictly about language and certainly not Cantonese as I’m Mando-jabbering all day long, I want to put these postings from my blog www.chinadroll.com here as well. Travel broadens the mind, narrows the arse. Day 1 on great journey to Kazakhstan:
I love trains and especially Chinese ones. Always have. Having said that, when my bunk is the top one of three and it’s so close to the ceiling I can’t even sit on it but must take up a Being John Malcovich-like half-lying stance, two whole days and two whole nights really is enough. Always get a lower bunk, people!
These are my travel comrades as seen from my perch, including quite a bit of zoom. So yes, high up. Trains are supposed to be about laying down after lunch and after dinner (the train food being excellent and cooked on the rolling premises, another reason to favour Chinese trains over all others) 
but when the bunk is like a mini Everest with twice as many people to step on going up – or down – you don’t go easily into that dark and nasty cave. Especially when the train, like ours, isn’t air conditioned. But the food, beer and especially the peanuts which I can’t recommend highly enough, made up for all of it. Almost. No, it didn’t. Lower bunk, lower bunk. That’s the only way.
When we got on the train we tried to elbow our way from carriage number 5 to 13, where the space allocator is. We succeeded but this is what we found:
That’s right, sleeping on the job in full view of about ten people hanging over the counter trying desperately to, presumably, get out of hard seat and onto our perches which must have seemed like paradise compared to sitting up for 45 hours. (My record is 31, and it’s not much fun. All right, it’s completely without fun.) My friend gave him a good poke and he burst into life, only to say that it was impossible to say when an allocation could even take place. So we zen-like indifference’d our way through the provinces.
It worked! Now, if people would only start disciplining their one child policy progeny …
Looks like angel, right? Wasn’t. Was devil.
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Do Yourself A Favour, Go To The Dentist!
I’m so afraid of the dentist, I go every four months. That sounds like a contradiction and a half, but it’s true. Going every four months gives me peace of mind and no cavities. (Also, →
HSBC Service Improving Every Day
Where are these people going? Could they be going to the headquarters of venerable bank HSBC, you know, The World’s Local Bank that you can only access if you live in China or Hong Kong →
Red Tide And Dragging Editing
Ahhrghhh! I normally love making and editing films but this one from Hainan Island is dragging. Is it because I made it a long time ago and it’s no longer fresh? Or is it because →
The Mandarin Behemoth Juggernaut Destroyer
Sleepy backwater Pui O, a haven of backwaterishness and sleepiness. Who would think this village and especially its beach would become a hub for mainlanders on shopping sprees? They spend the days shopping in the →
SUNDAY: Podding Along, Heading For The Cast
Before Cantonese, a little sad and wistful Woo-hoo! It’s moving forward so fast. Got a great little group together for Radio Lantau’s Cantonese course CantoNews! Making podcasts from all over this wondrous island, we’re going →
Ahhhrghhhh! So Sorry Sorry Sorry I Haven’t Said This Before!
Well, I haven’t not said it before but only to a handful of people: if you’re a student of mine studying at the hallowed halls of Honolulu or just want to go to legendary Honolulu →
Bureaucrats Will Be The Death Of Me
This morning, as most mornings, I went to the beach with my trusty dogs Koldbrann and Lasi. It was raining vigorously, a phenomenon not uncommon in Hong Kong and southern China. Rain is water, water →
It’s A Miracle, Isn’t It?
I love my house, my beach and my island (Lantau Island in Hong Kong) but sometimes I wish it was just a little bit closer to Shenzhen! Going there is, quite frankly, a bit of →
Learn Cantonese Free! Wanted: Partner In Crime For Podcasts
Wei wei wei, do you remember Naked Cantonese on RTHK? I do. Oh, happy times with ah-Sa! The laughter, the tears! We travelled to public toilets and other wonderful places; one one weird occasion we →
Who Speaks More English, Hong Kong People Or Belgian People?
Here’s one of my students, let’s call him X, taking the gun off some local on one of our outings to southern China. He’s been studying for a while now and has always done very →
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Caring and Sharing
I’m currently in Hunan province and thought I would share this, one of many wonderful English signs we’ve seen during the last few days, with you. Throwing garbage into the dustbin is indeed lofty behaviour, →
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Dragon Year – How Can You Get Through It Without Cantonese???
So it’s a new year again, this time rather more important than just old 2012 – it’s the year of the DRAGON. Full of upheavals and excitement, it is also the luckiest year in the →
New Podcast!!!! Foot Massage in Shenzhen With ElleX
These guys have nothing to do with foot massage, Shenzhen or anything in the podcast (outcast) except they are NOT duds. But dudes. So I finally worked out how to get a direct bus from →
Mainland Charmer Sugarcoats Words:
So this is how the common or garden mainlander sees HK people… No. of course not. This geezer is just an army of one. A rabid minority misunderstanding his own nationality. Oh, and a professor →
New Canto Film!!!!!
It’s been a year but finally more Cantonese. If you want to be in a film, give us a shout! This one wasn’t as easy to make as normally, logistically. But with iMovie and some →
Good Old Aluminium Man
Yesterday we finished shooting In A Whorehouse – The Sequel, so soon there will be a brand new Canto extravaganza on YouTube. About time, some would say, as the last one, ‘Romeo and Juliet – →
New Podcast! (From Sober to Drunk in 10 Minutes)
Last weekend saw me in Guangzhou with the ridiculously handsome and delightful Kendall, a Guangzhou resident (above) to shoot my new Cantonese-worshipping movie ‘In a Whorehouse – The Sequel’. I will say no more about →
Ah-Mok Rides Again!
I suddenly realised it’s been over a year since my last real Canto-film, Episode 30, Christmas Extravaganza. I quickly decided to do something about it and you’ll be able to see the result on YouTube →
A Way To Benefit From Not Joking On Stairs:
Yesterday I had a lesson at home with one of my Lantau contingent, a shy girl called ah-Kei. A big part of my language teaching is trying to get people to understand that no matter →
China Everything – The Movie. Yes, Mandarin!!!!
Three months of work are finally over and the result is a 114 minute travel, language, transport and accommodation guide to the Silk Road including Kazakhstan, and, well, anything in China really. The premiere was →
New Bust-blocker from Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau!
Damn – I’ve done it! I’ve gone and betrayed my love, the Cantonese language. Well, all I’ve said about it is true and right, and it is my beloved language number 1A. It’s just that →
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