Mister Public Security Uncle Does Australia

The Uncle is currently in Australia, shooting a new film about the rubbish incinerator Hong Kong’s government is planning to build right outside my kitchen window. As usual, he does the bidding of his dear →

Banjo and Buffalo

I took up the banjo partly to understand what it’s like to learn something new, better to sympathise with my students. Now more than ever I see the importance of practise. I have been practising →

Marching For Mother Tongue

Yesterday was July 1st, what was meant to be a good opportunity for Hong Kong people to worship at the altar of the mainland, thanking its kind government for rescuing us from the slimy claws →

American Odyssey

It’s a while ago now but I suddenly remembered I spent a month in the USA this summer, doing the Canto thing of course:

Yes, that Public Security Uncle, he does get around a bit. Unfortunately an unfathomable tragedy happened: He lost his badge in a shrubbery incident just outside Santa Fe. Good thing he had his trusty deputy →

So this plan of mine to eat my way through all the Chinese restaurants in the USA is kind of almost working out. A little. I think I’ll be able to do about 90%, including →

Last weekend we were in Mui Jau (梅州）which, although it’s in Guangdong province, bears the dubious distinction of being completely Mando speaking. People told me it was because it was a Hakka stronghold, but I →

Learning or even speaking Cantonese is no game for the timid. It is, quite frankly, something of a never-ending fight with frequent setbacks and few triumphs. The other day I was in the Holly in →

I want to post some old Cantonese The Movie movies here again as I think they’re being criminally overlooked by the public. Criminally. I want this one to go viral with more than 50 viewers! →

Next Sunday I have a feature in the South China Morning Post (Post Magazine) about Cantonese. I probably won’t say much that I haven’t already said here, but please read the thing anyway? The photo →

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Incinerator in English

This has nothing to do with Cantonese… but it kind of does. Because: When that 1972-technilogy behemoth starts spewing out its particles of 3,000 tonnes a day of burning rubbish wholesale, a lot of the friendly neighbourhood Chinese will get sick and die, and there will be no one with whom to practise Cantonese.

So: Down with the incinerator. Go back to the stone age where you belong, you evil pest-monger.

打倒焚化爐！ Da dou fan fa lou (down with the incinerator)

Old Granny New Posting

I love you, kung fu! As the famous bluegrass composer Hank Scraggsville always said. What, didn’t I post this only a few days ago? Yes, but this time I have included the sound or transliteration of the song. Because my objective is to make everybody in the world learn Cantonese without really trying! Based on my own experiences, the best way to learn a language apart from talking with locals 24 hours a day, is through the medium of song. Here goes!

我愛你，功夫

By Cecilie Gamst Berg
Melody: Little Darling Pal Of Mine

我鍾意功夫
我想打功夫
噢，功夫，功夫
我愛你， 功夫
噢，中國功夫
好靚0既功夫
功夫係世界第一

如果無功夫
我會好辛苦
我要同師傅
食苦既豆腐
要同我姐夫打哥爾夫。。。球
功夫係世界第一

O jungyi gungfu
O seung da gungfu
Ou, gungfu, gungfu
O oi lei, gungfu
Ou, Jung Gok gungfu
Hou leeng geh gungfu
Gungfu hai saigai dai yat

Yugoh mou gungfu
O wui hou sanfu
O yiu tong sifu
Sek fu geh daufu
Yiu tong o jehfu da go yi fu … kau
Gungfu hai saigai dai yat