Old China Hand Foot and Mouth Disease

Last weekend again saw me in my beloved Shenzhen to shoot some of the last scenes for the upcoming Cantonese teaching DVD called DWD 2. Yes, the ultimate in the latest teaching technology, in colour.

I took a taxi out to Splendid China, and the taxi driver was from Hunan. I mentioned that we had visited that wondrous province only a few months ago and how much we had loved the food, scenery, Mao’s gaff etc. “Wah (in Mando) – you can even eat chillies! You really are an old China hand,” the driver exclaimed. (中國通 Jung Gok Tong – old China hand.)

“Really? Oh, you’re too kind,” I protested modestly. Then, an incredible teasing mood came tearing out of nowhere clutching me in its deadly grip.
“So, don’t you think Taiwan should be an independent country?” I remarked casually. A torrent of words ensued, ending with (after I had said I thought Hong Kong should also be an independent country: “You don’t understand anything about China!”

From old China hand to idiot in less than two minutes. Something of a record. Yes, I know it’s not kind to tease taxi drivers, but it was a long drive and I had just lived through Jesus Suffers Difficulties Festival. I’ve forgiven myself.

Communi-Play-Tion

It’s no secret that I love the motherland, China, over all other lands, and not only because of Mons 雪花(Suet Fa – Snow Flower) beer and Sichuan food either. I’ve had more fun there than →

Green Island Beer

Hooray! Almost finished with my Sichuan cookbook called What was it again? Cook, something cook, something Sichuan. Something. Anyway, in it I praise that beer so loved and, amazingly, hated, all over the world: “Tsingtao”. →

Smoke Comes Out Your Arse

Smoke! Is it just me or has Central become unbearable after the smoking ban was implemented? I’ve become one of those middle-aged hags who sniffily wave her hand in front of her face while walking, →

咩呀？ Wot?

This is one of the reasons why I love Cantonese: 咩! (Meeh, wot? or what kind of…) My theory: It started out as 乜嘢 (mat yeh, what thing. As in: 你飲乜嘢呀？Lei yam mat yeh ah? →

Another Petrashune Down

A sad day in the country club today! My banjo teacher, Austin, （亞天，Ah-Tin) came for his last Cantonese lesson/to provide banjo lesson. We recorded the instrumental to our next Cantonese Bluegrass music video (don’t know →

More about NOT to be

Summer has come to Pui O beach and with it a slew of … I think they call them ‘pseudo-models’? and their entourages of dozens of photographers and light-reflector-holders, all men, for some reason. Referring →

To 係 or 唔係 – is that the question?

Cantonese 101: There is no yes and no! This can create confusion. Of course, many people want there to be a yes (at least) and so they have created a thing where 係 (hai) means →

Caught Napkin

I discovered a new Canto word this week! And I won’t forget it, because I learnt it in a situation and from a live person, not a dictionary or app. So I do this Sichuan →

Priorities

I remember when I first came to hong Kong in 1989. The 垃圾蟲 (lap sap chung, litter bug) campaign had just started. Now people would be made to feel bad about littering. Woo-hoo! Nothing seemed →

The Day After

It’s difficult for me when holidays suddenly pop up in the middle of the week. Yesterday I felt it was Sunday （禮拜日，lai bai yat) all day although it was Wednesday (禮拜三 lai bai saam), and →

The Eagle has Flapped Away

Do you live in Hong Kong? Have you lived here for a number of years? (Any number higher than, say, one?) Then you must already be starting to get sick of people leaving.

Now it’s Frank’s turn (Frank is also known as Fei Yeng, Flying Eagle) and last night he was sent off in style in a karaoke bar.

I had to go home early but not before I had shown him my going-away song, called oh, Fei Yeng or something:

I am pleased with this song and every word in it is true. Big thanks to Quentin, Linda, Jo, Alan and all the other who contributed their time, ukulele, and voices (although these, sadly) were dubbed.

Frank admiring a beautiful painting by Alan complete with Flying Eagle, Honolulu and Jo and me singing away. Excellent art.

But don’t anyone else dare to leave, you hear? I’m getting sick of it! Sick, I say.

唱歌 – Cheung go (Sing song/to sing
唱 K – Cheung Kei (Sing karaoke)
卡拉 O.K. – Ka La Ou Kei (karaoke)

Bored No More

FINALLY! I had had absolutely no yam cha (afternoon tea and dim sum) since September 14 and was starting to see double. Although I had plenty of deep-fried, comforting Southern food on my blaze-through of the southern states, I missed my chives and prawn dumplings and fried bread stick wrapped in rice flour roll like… like a heroin addict misses his syringe in rehab. But yesterday, October 9th, I could finally indulge, and how.

At another table were about ten HK Chinese and a foreigner. I could hear the black-haired people talking away in Cantonese, while the foreigner was so bored I could see it from behind. Once in a while a colleague (?) leaned over to explain something to him, but for the most part it seemed that he was left to his own chopsticks.

Why would I care about some stranger? Well, I didn’t, especially not when my food arrived. But I could sympathise with him. I’d just come back from Mexico where the people I met, although very kind and solicitous, naturally preferred to speak Spanish with one another when we were at a party or dinner. The solution for me would have been to learn Spanish.

Instead of hoping, or worse, demanding, that your local colleagues will learn more English and conduct meetings and lunches in that language, why not learn Cantonese? Even if you only learn survival level Cantonese, your lunches with locals will change completely. They’ll know you’re interested in their language and will take the time to explain the ins and outs of the food, they will speak more slowly and the conversations will include instead of exclude you.

Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau offers crash-courses in 飲茶 (yam cha) among other specified topics, as well as regular courses for individuals and groups.

九月 (Gau yuet – 9th Month/September)
黑頭髮 (hak tau fat – black hair)
陌生人 (Mak saang yan – stranger)