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Is being a Luddite with a Mac an oxymoron? But sometimes I think that’s what I am. Here I am, trying to make Cantonese a world language – in Hong Kong! the very stronghold of Cantonese as a world language-ism.

It’s like making coals in Newcastle or, to use a slightly more up to date aphorism, like making fake CDs in the fake DVD factory.

To make Cantonese a world language, I of course have to take it to the world! Duh! And therefore, about 30 years after it was invented, I now proudly bring you: Cantonese by SKYPE!!!!

We tried it out the other night; Ah- La, Ah-On, Ah-Yan and I in the Honolulu, canto-ing away with ah-Dak who was in a hotel room in Guangzhou. It worked brilliantly! It was just like a normal session except slightly more surreal perhaps; but that was probably just me, who’s still in awe of the fact that I can press a thing on the wall and the electric light comes on.

So people of the world, rejoice. Now you can have Canto lessons with me now matter where you live! All your questions answered, all your existential angst resolved. Or even dissolved.
So delay no more, re-activate your Skype account and let’s get world domination-ing!

Don’t Beat Yourself Up! (Let Me Do It)

(None of the people in the photos were quoted – or hurt – during this blog entry) Perhaps it’s inevitable when people are starting to learn Cantonese that they will feel themselves transported back to →

Ordeal of the Year

In January, okay, I admit it, I waited until the first week of February, came my annual ordeal: The visit to the vet. Why ordeal? It’s just some injections, and they’re not even on me. →

Stimulate All Your Senses on Lantau. Yes, all! Sichuan Cooking Course

Chinese New Year saw the Lo Uk Tsuen Country Club full of people coming to learn the basics of Sichuan cooking. Mature and younger, Lantau people and people from as far away as Britain – →

Congratulations, Get Rich!

It’s Chinese new year and the streets (and Facebook) reverberates to foreigners calling out to each other: “KUNG hei fat choi!” For one thing it should be GUNG hei, but hey. The tradition of spelling →

Enormous Oversight

About those language teaching videos (one Cantonese for beginners, one Cantonese for the more adventurous and, yes! I admit it! Even a survival Mandarin video called Stay Grounded) – all these years they’ve had this →

肇慶 Beautiful Siu Heng – Great As Long As You Don’t Dabble

Oh China. I love you so much. This is Siu Heng, the town where, on top of the many scraggy crags, there are signs (signage) exhorting people not to “parapet”. No Parapeting! the signs say →

Big Shots in China

威士忌 – Wai si gei (Whisky) 酒店 – jau dim (Hotel) 唔舒服 – m syu fuk (Not well)

The shooting of new, from-scratch Cantonese course CantoNews continues. This time we went to a thrilling location, the luscious OYC Hotel in 肇慶 (Siu Heng) in Guangdong province, a mere four hours’ comfortable train journey →

Here is an excellent way to practise and learn more Cantonese: Going to the market with your very own Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau. This is how it works: First we sit down with →

Am I the only one who thinks there are too many holidays in Hong Kong? I feel I’ve just come back from my Christmas trip – BOOM! Another big holiday immediately heaves into view. I →

Wetlands Lament

Above: BEFORE. Halcyon days of yore, etc. A part of the interlinked Pui O wetlands in 2012. A lovely, lush vista scattered with grazing water buffalo, egrets, starlings and other creatures, even fish have seen →

New Programme on Radio Lantau

IMPORTANT!!! When you click on the link, scroll down to the alphabetical archive and click on C. Then you’ll see both my programmes. This isn’t strictly about Cantonese and it certainly isn’t about me, but →

CantoNews2 – now with airplanes!

It’s up and running on Radio Lantau – CantoNews 2! The sequel! No, just the second programme in Cecilie and Nick’s Cantonese course, the finest course currently available on cassette. http://radiolantau.com/programme-archive/cantonews/C/7-cecilie-gamst-berg/4-cantonews/60-cantonews-2 This time we discuss →

Cantonese World Supremacy!

Ever since my friend suggested I should teach Mandarin (NEVER!!! Down with simplified characters and cultural imperialism!) new Cantonese students have been pouring in. There was something about making a decision, having a goal in →

I Must Go To Shenzhen… I Must

It used to be that Shenzhen was a wild party town. For me, that is – I’m sure it still is for the young people of today. Now that former frontier, now settled and comfortably genteel town, has other attractions such as the Railway Station Hotel, foot massage and crocheting.

But who would have thought that one of its attractions would be … Walmart?!?

Everybody says that “no one speaks Cantonese in Shenzhen” but that’s just not true. Everyone I meet speaks it, and even taxi drivers can understand it. Just stand your ground. And no, that’s not “rude”.

火車站酒店 (Fo che jaam jau dim – Railway Station Hotel)
洗腳 (sai geuk – wash feet/have a foot massage)