Articles from the original happyjelyfish.com website

Natural Connection

It seems that no one has thought about the deep and intimate connection between the Cantonese language and bluegrass. I wonder why. Well, from now on you’ll be able to groove along to bluegrassy Canto-tunes, painfully picked by yours truly.

Thank you, 86-year-old geeza in Sanya, Hainan Island, who took up the saxophone at the age of 84! You inspired me to start learning my favourite instrument. Now I only have to practise for 10,000 years or whatever.

(If you want the transliteration and Chinese characters of this song so you can perform it yourself with the Hong Kong Philharmonics for example, just contact me.)

So Many Ways To Learn Canto!

As imperial-Mando encroaches on our linguistic liberties, it goes without saying that more and more people who don’t like to be dictated to, want to learn Cantonese.

But many are concerned about time, commitment, pain, the violence ( 63% less than in other courses but still not insignificant.) And many are quite simply physically not in Hong Kong! Those are often the people who buy a book or CD-rom, thinking that owning items pertaining to Cantonese will miraculously transform the owner into a fluent speaker.

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works. However, for people who for some reason can’t or don’t want to take regular lessons,* there are still many ways to learn Cantonese the Natural Way – from a Norwegian.

  • Family Yam Cha Want to learn Cantonese but feel you should spend Saturdays with the family? Take the Cantonese mini-course with food! You sign up for four sessions, to be taken within two months. You and your family spend one and a half hours learning to order food and drinks, some taxi lingo and other important stuff necessary to navigate Hong Kong on ground level. With four sessions and some dedication, as well as enough course material including the learning DVD Cantonese – The Movie, to last you a lifetime, you will be well on your way to study on by yourself. That’s right, by daily conversations with HK people.
  • One week activity Cantonese If you’re just about to start a new job but have a few days to spend wisely before you knuckle down to the 14 hour day, take the intensive, zooming around Hong Kong while learning Cantonese course. Three hours per day for a week, including shopping, getting around, eating and arguing with taxi drivers, including the above course material and DVD. It’s all you need to put you firmly on the path to linguistic glory.
  • Skype Now you can live anywhere in the world and still have the benefit of the Norwegian touch! You get all the course material by email and the rest is like having me in your living room with the added bonus of the violence being zero. You pay for four sessions to be taken within a month and a half, and you’re away. Literally.
  • Guerrilla Cantonese Learn everything you need about drinking in bars and getting around, then immediately rush out on a bar crawl to practise.
  • One Day Crash Course It’s four hours, tops. That’s all you need to  bring you from “zero Cantonese” to “quite a lot of Cantonese.”

Yes, there is something for everybody here at the Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau.

* normal weekly lessons are still a possibility – they take place in Honolulu Coffee Shop, 33 Stanley street, Central

  • One week activity Cantonese

Children Outside Society

Last night I shared a taxi from Tung Chung – oh how it pains me to spell it that way when it’s pronounced DUNG Chung – with a boy and his domestic helper. I noticed

Microaggression and Macro-Self-Contradiction

Yesterday I wrote about a guide to recognise white-to-coloured racism or “microaggression,[] the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults, whether intentional or unintentional(my italics), that communicate hostile, derogatory, or negative messages to

Only Whitey Can Be Racist

I have in my hand (and when I say hand I mean computer screen) an extraordinary document entitled “Tool: Recognizing Microaggressions and the Messages They Send”. Reading through the list, I’m damned glad to be

Beautiful Serendipity

I spent the weekend in Shenzhen and it was lovely. As I walked around in the sunshine Sunday morning I suddenly realised why I’ve been so unhappy recently. Well, ISIS, WWIII is coming, all that;

It’s All About Face

Here is one of my students – let’s call him X-tor. Like so many he succumbed to “MOvember,” the terrible annual male uglification-fest where guys deliberately mutilate their faces to get people to give them

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Life is funny eh? You think you know something or at least are fairly familiar with something, and then something happens that sends your whole world view tumbling to the ground. Me, I thought I

Hound Hoping for Home

Here is a thoroughly kind, cheerful and people-loving dog called Rascal, 3. The name is misleading because he’s not alpha or naughty. He’s also not fearful. I’ve known him ever since his owner adopted him

SUNDAY: Semi-Dignified Farewell

Yesterday I dragged myself up Lantau Peak to scatter the ashes of a dear friend who died in April. It really made me admire even more those brave souls who participated in the Moontrekker thing

I Spake Too Soon About Market

Ha ha! I laughed bitterly yesterday when I had to go to FUSION to buy some toilet paper or whatever. I remember when the melody in the story above irritated me. And not only me,

New Podcast For Beginners! CantoNews 2

Woo-hoooo! Everybody everywhere! Now you can learn Cantonese absolutely free with the help of Lantau people. Although the Lantau podcasts CantoNews are strictly for and by Lantau people – what the hell, anyone can listen!

The Eagle has Flapped Away

Do you live in Hong Kong? Have you lived here for a number of years? (Any number higher than, say, one?) Then you must already be starting to get sick of people leaving. Now it’s

Cantonese Forever!

Wah! So exciting! Here is the true story of what went down in old Guangzhou that fateful day in July.

Good Weather Likely

A lovely day has begun in the lovely city of Guangzhou and after yesterday’s torrential rain people are pouring out in the streets again.

Just outside the hotel I saw this guy relaxing with a newspaper and it struck me that he looked exactly like the statue he was sitting on (but of a slightly different colour.)

IMG_6045

When I quickly took a photo, he leapt up, thinking I was taking a photo of the statue and didn’t want him in it.

When the misunderstanding was cleared up we had a good old chat about the weather that had just been. 落狗屎呀! (lok gau si ah! – fall dog shit (raining cats and dogs).

IMG_6046

好似 (hou chi – look like, similar to, just like, seem like, seemingly, probable)
聽日好似會落雨呀 (teng yat hou chi wui lok yu ah – tomorrow likely will fall rain ah)

But what do I care? I have my enormous, sturdy cockroach umbrella to defend me.

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Cockroach: 曱甴 (gat jaat)
Umbrella: 雨遮 or just 遮 (yu jeh)

Contact us today

Email info@learncantonese.com.hk

to find out how you can start learning Cantonese.