CantoNews Live From Oi Kwan Hotel

Oh Cassette! Two weeks ago we went up to Guangzhou to see him live in his stand-up glory at a place called… Panda something? No! Paddyfield, an Irish pub right behind the Garden Hotel.

Cassette is funny! But missed our recording at the Oi Kwan revolving restaurant

the next morning. Ah – what a lovely morning! The restaurant was spinning, the sun was shining and the food was great. So we just went ahead and recorded anyway.

Unfortunately, unlike Cassette, ah-On wasn’t wildly enthusiastic about CantoNews, and spent most of the recording time looking at the view. But the view was amazing! First sunny day in weeks, etc etc.

Listen to this groundbreaking free Cantonese course on www.RadioLantau.com or on archive . Don’t forget to scroll down until you see the hallowed sign

熊貓 -Hong mao (bear cat/panda)
愛爾蘭 – Oi yi laan (Ireland)
有太陽 －Yau tai yeung (Have sun/sunny)

Opulent Chair Sitting – Almost!

If there’s one thing I missed during this Christmas and New Year’s Yunnan Extravaganza, it was the chance to do some serious Opulent Chair (or Sofa)- Sitting. How strange; Guangdong province is replete with ultra-opulent →

Well and Truly 2016

It’s well and truly next year! First I thought, I can’t wait for 2015 to be over, but then I stopped myself. The faster next year comes, the sooner I’ll be in the grave. So →

Happy New Canto Year!

Greetings from Shangri-la, formerly a fictitious “idyllic settlement high in the mountains of Tibet” of James Hilton’s Lost Horizon fame, now a city in China. In this photo, however, we’re a few hours further south, →

Only Whitey Can Be Racist

I have in my hand (and when I say hand I mean computer screen) an extraordinary document entitled “Tool: Recognizing Microaggressions and the Messages They Send”. Reading through the list, I’m damned glad to be →

Beautiful Serendipity

I spent the weekend in Shenzhen and it was lovely. As I walked around in the sunshine Sunday morning I suddenly realised why I’ve been so unhappy recently. Well, ISIS, WWIII is coming, all that; →

Hound Hoping for Home

Here is a thoroughly kind, cheerful and people-loving dog called Rascal, 3. The name is misleading because he’s not alpha or naughty. He’s also not fearful. I’ve known him ever since his owner adopted him →

SUNDAY: Semi-Dignified Farewell

Yesterday I dragged myself up Lantau Peak to scatter the ashes of a dear friend who died in April. It really made me admire even more those brave souls who participated in the Moontrekker thing →

What Are The Chances?

Yesterday I got a new student and bugger me if he wasn’t … Mexican! I mean, what are the chances? Before I went to Mexico, I had only ever met three Mexicans: Hector, a guy →

Burglary Warning To Lantau People (and Everybody)

So on Saturday I hosted a Sichuan dinner for twelve people, three of whom called and said they were lost. I had to rush out in mid-stuffing of dumplings to fetch them. (It was the →

Long Live the Entrepreneurial Spirit! And Beer!

I can’t control myself – I must show it: Mister Public Security Uncle photographed by a professional photographer! It was the night before Halloween and I was strolling around Central with my vice-Security officer, Bak →

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To 係 or 唔係 – is that the question?

Cantonese 101: There is no yes and no!

This can create confusion.

Of course, many people want there to be a yes (at least) and so they have created a thing where 係 (hai) means yes. But it doesn’t, it means TO BE. Or as I call it in my course, IS. To is or not to is, THAT is the question!

So you can’t just answer 係呀， 係呀 (hai ah, hai ah) willy-nilly to any old question, you see. But sometimes 係 really is the correct answer – or comment rather. If someone says “嘩， 好熱呀!” (Wah, hou yit ah! Damn, but it’s hot) as they inevitably do at this time of year, you can answer, or remark: 係呀。 (Hai ah. It IS (what you said)) Also notice how ‘to be’ isn’t used before adjective in Chinese? It’s just ‘well hot’ （好熱，hou yit).

So when Chinese people speak English a kind of hilarity ensues, because they have to grapple with the fact that there IS a yes and no in English, and that 係 (hai, IS, or IT IS) comes close to explain this.

Last night I was at a gathering with adults of various nationalities and some local children of I’d say eight to 12 years old, and the young’uns had their own table. Some wag remarked in English to the youngest boy “so you won’t be drinking any beer then?” and the boy said “yes”, meaning (in Cantonese thinking) ‘That is correct’. The man was confused. “So you will be drinking beer?” “No.” “Ah, so you will not be drinking beer?” “Yes.”

And so it went on.

Ah, beer. Mons!

Now you can learn 2,734 interesting things bout Cantonese without really trying, by taking Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau’s courses, either regular or crash.