Morris Lets Norway off Hook

As a Norwegian, I’m more than used to certain nationalities using “Norway” as “the weirdest, most bizarre thing you can think of”, in books, articles and speech. Whenever I say where I’m from, out comes →

Last Word About the Worst Flu Ever.

Have you had it? Who hasn’t? Shitty province. But I kind of love it!

Most of my live Cantonese sessions are done in the venerable Honolulu Coffee and Cake Shop, one of the last proper cha chanteng in Central. The last venue (see film above), whose name I can’t →

Saturday night my house was flooded with what at first glance looked like supermodels. 15 young people in their twenties and early thirties stampeded in to have a Sichuan meal, carefully cooked with the finest →

In the column below I bemoan the fact that my first Inner Guangdong town, (where I coined the phrase ‘hovelage’ – excellent traditional Chinese architecture made to last but a little careworn) has become a →

Ever since my friend suggested I should teach Mandarin (NEVER!!! Down with simplified characters and cultural imperialism!) new Cantonese students have been pouring in. There was something about making a decision, having a goal in →

Last Friday I was so happy, because I had a trip to Shenzhen all lined up. Probably only a day trip, but still! Shenzhen is Shenzhen. Sichuan food, having some shirts made and foot massage. →

Are you a woman? Caucasian or Caucasian with benefits? Do you live in Hong Kong? Then you may have referred to yourself at some point as “Gwailou”. Guess what, you’re not. Only men can be →

Last month I was feeling a little down in the dumps; I felt that life was a cruel joke and nothing was going my way. For a while I didn’t even have that old chestnut, →

The mainland is all well and good, in fact better than well and certainly better than good, but there other countries around here. Japan for example. Not that this tiny island that’s much closer to →

Bit More About Wetlands

I’m not a property owner but even if I were,I think I would still find it difficult to fathom how, when someone looks at the above vista, he thinks: I can dump a lot of →

Wetlands Lament

Above: BEFORE. Halcyon days of yore, etc. A part of the interlinked Pui O wetlands in 2012. A lovely, lush vista scattered with grazing water buffalo, egrets, starlings and other creatures, even fish have seen →

Finally Lantau Becomes Modern

Recently we Lantau residents have been bombarded with information about how our lives will be so infinitely better; first with the mega-incinerator with its “no emissions” and now with another 1 million people in the →

China Toilet Groove (Contains Video)

Everyone who travels in China for more than, say, five minutes, has something to say about her toilets. But I stand by my column (above) – they are nothing! Nothing, compared to only a few →

Sichuan Food … So Yummy and Right Here in Pui O!

There are as many types of Chinese food as there are people in China; approximately 1.3 billion different dishes at last count. That's more dishes than you and I go through in an average month! →

The Last Time I’ll Mention “Cold” (Mad River Swimming)

So people are going in search of ice on which to seriously hurt themselves and icicles to photograph in astonishment. Yes it was 3C this morning. Not boiling, I’ll admit. But imagine going out this →

Only Whitey Can Be Racist

I have in my hand (and when I say hand I mean computer screen) an extraordinary document entitled “Tool: Recognizing Microaggressions and the Messages They Send”. Reading through the list, I’m damned glad to be →

SUNDAY: Semi-Dignified Farewell

Yesterday I dragged myself up Lantau Peak to scatter the ashes of a dear friend who died in April. It really made me admire even more those brave souls who participated in the Moontrekker thing →

The Uses of Cantonese

I’m SO glad I can speak Cantonese! Here is one of a million reasons: I just took the MTR from Central to Tung Chung and as usual there were no taxis although it’s about 200 →

Advice

Hoi hoi! Everybody everywhere, I can’t say this often enough: When you’re learning Cantonese: Get your course material in order. Something like the folder above, purchased by R, separating the material into categories, clearly labelled. →

FINALLY!!!!

Ohhh this has been a long time coming! I didn’t realise how much I’d been missing Naked Cantonese and ah-Sa (mine co-host of yore) before I started to make podcasts – properly – again only last Saturday. AND with a new co-host, Nick, also known as ‘Cassette’!

So once a week we’ll be giving out free Canto-advice for the world, and although it’s primarily about Lantau Island, most of the vocabulary will have universal appeal. Woo-hoooooo FINALLY! The first episode, CHEERS! is right here:

By the way! Nick is a comedian and he’s playing in Guangzhou (Paddyfield Bar in Central Plaza) on May 21st, 9.30pm. I’m going up there with some students the night before via Jung Saan (中山) as a moving language seminar thing, so you’re welcome to come with. Jung Saan is beautiful with lots of well-restored hovelage and excellent yam cha.

錄音帶 – Luk yam dai (record sound ribbon/cassette)
飲杯 – yam biu (drink cup/cheers)
中山 – Jung Saan (Middle Mountain/Zhong Shan, named after Sun Yat Sen)

Morris Lets Norway off Hook

As a Norwegian, I’m more than used to certain nationalities using “Norway” as “the weirdest, most bizarre thing you can think of”, in books, articles and speech. Whenever I say where I’m from, out comes “pining for the fjords,” “nil points” (nobody talks about Norway’s many stunning victories in that greatest cultural event of the year, the European Song Contest) and of course “heurdi beurdi beurdi” – the Muppet Show chef, who is of course Swedish. But hey, those Scandis are so lump-togetherable.

But there’s one cultural phenomenon more frequently brought up as the funniest and weirdest thing ever than “Norway”, and that is MORRIS DANCING.

I had never witnessed this thing, so naturally jumped on the chance yesterday when I was invited to a May Day Extravaganza at the Kowloon Cricket Club.

It was riveting. Vigorous. And with a strong martial element (bashing sticks together) it was much more muscular than I think most people know.

Unfortunately I don’t have time to join the Morris Society right now, but I think they accept new members.

挪威 Lo/La Wai (Norway)
木球 Muk kau (Wood Ball/Cricket)
九龍木球會 – Gau long muk kau wui (Kowloon Cricket Club)