My daylight hours are starting to fill up with Cant-studs (Cantonese students) coming to my house, and of course I have to offer them something for struggling up all those stairs and paying me.
As some of them have lessons at 10am I can’t very well offer them beer, so have to turn to tried and trusted tea. 茶(cha). And when it comes to cha, only the best will do! The best being 鐵觀音(tit gun yam – Iron Buddha), renowned around the world for its bitterness and the way it makes you puke if you drink it on an empty stomach.(Among other things – hallo!)
Yesterday I noticed I was running out of Buddha and went to Shenzhen to stock up. In the tea shop I asked the geezer if he had any packages with normal Chinese characters as I think anything with crippled (simplified) characters looks cheap and fake even if I know what’s in it. After a few minutes’ discussion about Chinese characters he dug out the bag in the photo above. A Hong Kong woman sitting a few feet away sampling tea piped up, in English: “Your Cantonese vewy good.” This is where I am supposed to thank her profusely, also in English. I know that’s how foreigners are supposed to act. But I just kept talking to the guy as we were in the middle off a business transaction.
She repeated her compliment a few times whereupon I asked her in Cantonese where she was from and she answered in English: Hong Kong. The ridiculous spectacle of a blond Norwegian speaking Cantonese with the black-haired HK Chinese person answering in English ensued. If I had a 100th of a cent for each time this has happened, etc.
In the end I had to say “If my Cantonese is so good, why are you talking to me in English?” (如果我廣東話講得咁好，你點解同我講英文？yugo o jungman gong dak gam hou, lei dim gai tong o gong yingman?）She answered, like thousands have before her: “I afrai’ you don’ understand.”
Fortunately this kind of thing happens less often now – not even five times a week. And I almost laugh at it now. A kind of tired, bitter laugh…
And the “Good Your Head” in the title? It’s 好你個頭 (Hou lei go tau – Good Your Piece Head; i.e. Good, my arse!)
Here is the view from my roof on a good day. But even on a not so good day it’s worth visiting, because guess what: My PERSONAL SICHUAN ROOFTOP RESTAURANT has now been enhanced with floor tiles!
You can take a stroll on the nearby Pui O Beach, seeing water buffalo naked. Verily, my restaurant is a fine place. Minimum four, maximum 20 people.
We also do drinks parties with space for up to 40 people and with live band. What’s not to flock to? And Norwegian food … but that’s more expensive.
Yammmmm! Yam me doooown! That’s right, I don’t spell the word you say when something tastes good, with a U. I prefer the letter A. Take a word like 蚊， (man, meaning mosquito but also dollar). Most of my native English students would spell that ‘mun’. But the next time they read that word, they invariably pronounce it like ‘moon’, presumably because it sounds more Chinese, and also because of the spelling of stuff like Tuen Mun. So I would always spell the ‘AAH’ sound with an A.
So anyway – yesterday. Four guests, four dishes. It was the hottest day of the year so naturally I cooked heavy, starchy and oily food. And after ten years, I think I may have cracked the secret to cooking good Four Seasons Beans （四季豆 sei gwai dau). But I’m not going to share it here. You can read all about it in my next book, Cook It, Sichuan Food Made Easy.
川菜，(chuen choy, Sichuan food), truly is the best in the world, 世界第一 (saigai dai yat, World Number One). I love having guests, it’s the only way I get to taste a lot of dishes.
P.S.
The kitchen is running all summer, but why not take a crash course in Chinese menu reading first?
Hoi hoi! Everybody everywhere, I can’t say this often enough: When you’re learning Cantonese: Get your course material in order. Something like the folder above, purchased by R, separating the material into categories, clearly labelled. R’s Canto ability increased by 20% the week she started to use the folder.
Also, make your own handy dictionary by entering all new words into a small notebook with index. A is for Apple, B is for Bastard and you put Expressions under X! If you’re not learning Cantonese and you live in hong Kong, do yourself a favour and start today.
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