Here is an interview I did for Radio Lantau a couple of weeks ago, with Edward Bunker from Mui Wo. Every single person I told this to said the same: “Oh, he’s lovely!” Not a →
Can you learn Cantonese from a book? I would say no, not least because of the crazy spelling that bear little or no resemblance to the sound of the words. Can you indeed learn any →
It’s so much fun to have friends visiting Hong Kong, especially when the day they arrive kicks off a week of unprecedented beautiful weather! I shouldn’t say unprecedented; the weather was probably like this every →
I’m just about to write my last column ever for South China Morning Post; ever! When I was told the page would be discontinued, I was so sad. How now would I be able to →
Hello everybody, welcome to my roof! I normally arrange Sichuan dinners and lunches there, but this time it doubled as a recording studio for the best Cantonese news currently available on cassette! (And telex.) Talking →
Oh Cassette! Two weeks ago we went up to Guangzhou to see him live in his stand-up glory at a place called… Panda something? No! Paddyfield, an Irish pub right behind the Garden Hotel. Cassette →
Above: BEFORE. Halcyon days of yore, etc. A part of the interlinked Pui O wetlands in 2012. A lovely, lush vista scattered with grazing water buffalo, egrets, starlings and other creatures, even fish have seen →
IMPORTANT!!! When you click on the link, scroll down to the alphabetical archive and click on C. Then you’ll see both my programmes. This isn’t strictly about Cantonese and it certainly isn’t about me, but →
It’s up and running on Radio Lantau – CantoNews 2! The sequel! No, just the second programme in Cecilie and Nick’s Cantonese course, the finest course currently available on cassette. http://radiolantau.com/programme-archive/cantonews/C/7-cecilie-gamst-berg/4-cantonews/60-cantonews-2 This time we discuss →
Ohhh this has been a long time coming! I didn’t realise how much I’d been missing Naked Cantonese and ah-Sa (mine co-host of yore) before I started to make podcasts – properly – again only →
I have just (“just” meaning three weeks ago) come back from Norway, and while I was there I sent various postcards, among them to an uncle in my village. What, your uncle lives in your village in Hong Kong?!? you ask. No, in Cantonese any old geezer can be your uncle. (亞叔, ah-Suk or, if really old, 亞伯, ah-Bak.)
This particular ah-Suk had a stroke years and years ago and can’t speak, only quack and groan. I still mostly understand what he says because when we’re chatting I go into a kind of trance, and he laughs at everything I say although he’s getting quite deaf. Perfect conversations. Anyway, I sent him a postcard from the most touristy fjord, writing “You’ll never guess where I am!” （你估唔到我0係邊度!）signed Miss Gam （甘小姐).
When I got home, I found the uncle very excited about the postcard. When I asked him where he guessed I have been, he wrote something with his finger in the palm of his hand. Hmmmm… it didn’t look much like ‘Norway’ （挪威, Lo Wai）but then his writing skills have also been severely harmed by that damned stroke. What he “wrote” could, in fact, be anything.
The next time I went to his shop, he handed me this note that he had written:
Awwww! Small wonder I hadn’t been able to decipher his finger-writing. He had written the 挪 in 挪威 as 羅 (also Lo but means Net and is his surname and the name of my village), and using the simplified character at that. (Yeah, he’s from Hainan.) Same sound!
In the note it says, among thanking me profusely: “Is Lo Wai a city? How long does it take to get there? Do you have to change planes?” Awwwwww! So sweet!
People, always write postcards and letters. They are so much appreciated these days.
P.S.
I’m running crash courses in
Dim Sum
Market Shopping
Having Clothes Made in Shenzhen
and Reading Chinese Menus and Other Characters
all summer!
Why learn Cantonese?
1. It’s FUN!
2. It’s the local language of Hong Kong and it’s good form to learn the language in the place where you live, rather than insist on locals speaking your language
3. It feels good to have mastered something that is generally seen as extremely difficult (no need to tell them it isn’t)
4. It’s great for the brain, staves off Alzheimer’s
5. It’s fantastic for the ego, because everybody will tell you without stop how intelligent and great you are
6. It will teach you a lot about Chinese culture and thinking in general and Hong Kong culture in particular
7. It will make your everyday life in Hong Kong much easier and improve your relationship with your Chinese neighbours and colleagues
8. It will make you stand out among your foreign peers as the only foreigner
9. It works as a magic card; opens all doors and no one will cheat you
10. It pisses off the mainland government no end
Please tell me if you can think of any other reasons. Suggestions welcome; the winner gets a Moontrekker sports shirt in a breathable material.
This is one of the reasons why I love Cantonese: 咩! (Meeh, wot? or what kind of…)
My theory: It started out as 乜嘢 (mat yeh, what thing. As in: 你飲乜嘢呀？Lei yam mat yeh ah? You drink what thing ah – what are you drinking?). A good Cantonese expression that Mandohooligans can’t understand, in speech or writing. And then (again this is my theory but I think a good’n:) it slowly compressed into one word: Meh (咩）taking the beginning from the mat and the end from the yeh.
And then MEH took on its own life, meaning ‘what kind of’ as in 你飲咩啤酒呀? (Lei yam meh beh jau ah? You drink what kind of beer?) But it created a conundrum. How to write it? Normally in Cantonese if a word doesn’t have its own character you just take a word that sounds identical or similar and slap a ‘mouth’ character (口）on it. Like 呀 (ah) that comes from the word 牙 (tooth). But there is no ‘meh’ sound in Cantonese. What did they do? Wrote it as ‘the sound of a goat’! (Or sheep.) 咩(meeeeeeh!) Goat falling off a mountain!
By the way, the above photo was taken on an excellent day in Inner Mongolia, hitch-hiking through the wilderness.
喂！ 你搵乜嘢呀！ (Wei! Lei wan mat yeh ah? Hey! What are you looking for?)
