Canto Frustrato Grandissimo
Last week one of my students was almost … not close to tears exactly but … what’s the word? Oh yeah, ready to use a blunt weapon.
She had tried to get money out of a Citibank ATM （㩒錢 gam chin, ‘punch money’) but found it only containing RMB. Kind as she is, she took the trouble to walk into the bank and tell a clerk that the machine was out of HK$. Blank stare. She took the guy outside the bank, pointed to the ATM machine and said “呢度冇港幣喎" （lidou mou gong bai woh – ‘there isn’t any HK currency here’)
Pretty straight forward you’d think – the guy was a bank clerk, he had heard about various currencies, had been told about the nature of ATM machines – but nothing. After she had said it the third time he pointed wordlessly to the machine: “Please press here for English.”
Yes, it’s funny now, as comedy is tragedy plus time! But it’s not funny when you’re paying for Cantonese lessons, trying daily to communicate with people, only to get slapped in the face, spat on and having the truck backing up and driving over you a second time.
“Cantonese isn’t ‘too difficult for whitey to speak’ it’s too damned difficult for Hong Kong people to understand!” my student remarked bitterly. Ha ha, yes, keep that thought, people!
It’s not you, it’s them.
It’s also extremely important that you show your colours, letting them know that it is Cantonese, their own native language, that you’re about to speak. My guess about the bank guy was that his brain crashed and burnt. “What what what she’s white she’s saying something is it English it must be English no it’s not what is it can it be French help me I can’t run away now” …something along those lines.
Sometimes when faced with people who can’t imagine that what I’m saying could possibly be their own language (it’s to absurd to even fathom) I say “我講緊廣東話喎" （O gong gan gongdungwah woh! ‘I’m speaking Cantonese, hello!’ and then they switch to that, usually with great relief.
Whatever you do, don’t give up! One day you’ll have revenge!