Bureaucrats Will Be The Death Of Me

This morning, as most mornings, I went to the beach with my trusty dogs Koldbrann and Lasi. It was raining vigorously, a phenomenon not uncommon in Hong Kong and southern China. Rain is water, water is wet, and combined with a very smooth surface, water can make that surface ultra-smooth! I knew that. I’ve known it for years. But that didn’t stop me from almost falling on my nose as I walked on the tiles helpfully put down (by the Leisure department?) to lead people from the beach to the barbecue area and the tents.

The thing is, those tiles down by Pui O Beach are so sneaky. Many of them have a rough surface, as anyone laying tiles on the ground in a place where it rains a lot would think natural. But then there are these tiles in between them that are so smooth they should be on a bathroom wall, high up just in case. If you get even 1/5 of your shoe’s undersurface on one of these, you’re done for.

Why, HK government? Why why why the slippery tiles? Why?

Still, they have nothing on this particular museum, or tomb or whatever, in Guangzhou. I didn’t have the space to mention it in the column, but the areas between the various tombs and shard-holding houses were all tiled, with tiles so slippery it took us 15 minutes to traverse a 30-second staircase in the aftermath of the torrential. If I hadn’t hated that place before (which I did), I certainly did now, when every step brought the promise of certain death or disfigurement. Why do these planners do this? Why? Why? Do they stand in windows and laugh as people go arse over tit?

沙灘 (Sa taan – beach)
滑 (wat – slippery/slide)
好X滑 (hou eksi wat – damn slippery)
跌 (Dit – fall, drop)
跌落嚟 (Dit lok lei – fall down)