My Groove! My Groove! Why Are You Forsaking Me?

Last week I received some shocking news: My banjo teacher is leaving. What??? Now that everything was going so well? Not only do we do the old-fashioned and also modern thing of bartering skills; I teach him Cantonese and he teaches me the banjo, but he lives two minutes’ walk from my house.

I took up the banjo 班卓琴 (ban jeuk kam) a year and a half ago to empathise with my victims students. I felt I had to do what I told them to do, practise something daily; something that wasn’t built in a day.

So I met this guy, Adam, working as a banjo-player at Disney who lived two minutes’ walk from my house and who wanted to learn more Cantonese! What were the chances? Only in his twenties, he was a musical genius and could play all instruments. Then he left, but get this: His younger brother Austin also plays the banjo, is a musical genius and wants to study Cantonese! And lives two minutes’ walk away!

So a seamless transition took place.

But now Austin is leaving too and I’ve run out of musically gifted brothers. I’m sure I can teach myself the banjo but actually, it’s not as easy as it looks. 亞天， 唔好走呀！ (Ah-Tin, m hou jau ah! Austin, don’t leave!)

What to do now? Sigh.

Here is my first public performance under Adam’s tutelage, Swiss Toilet Groove:

我要去廁所

Mel: You Are My Sunshine
Written for the banjo by Cecilie Gamst Berg

我要去廁所， 去廁所屙屎

我食咗芝士， 食咗太多

冇廁所鎖匙，咁我去瑞士

試吓紫色瑞士廁所

啲瑞士廁所，有自私獅子

食廁所廁紙，你知唔知

我冇食廁紙，我食咗芝士

會去瑞士廁所屙屎

O yiu heui chiso, heui chiso o si
O sek jo chisi, sek jo tai do
Mou chiso sosi, gam o heui Seuisi
Si ha chisek Seuisi chiso

Di Seuisi chiso, yau jisi sichi
Sek chiso chiji, lei ji m ji?
O mou sek chiji, o sek jo chisi
Wui heui Seuisi chiso o si

I must go toilet, go toilet defecate
I eat-done cheese, eat-done too much
I haven't toilet key, so I go Switzerland
Try purple Swiss toilet

Swiss toilets have selfish lions
Eat toilet paper, you know not know?
I haven't eaten toilet paper
I eat-done cheese
Will go Switzerland toilet defecate