So this is how the common or garden mainlander sees HK people… No. of course not. This geezer is just an army of one. A rabid minority misunderstanding his own nationality. Oh, and a professor →
This has nothing to do with Cantonese… but it kind of does. Because: When that 1972-technilogy behemoth starts spewing out its particles of 3,000 tonnes a day of burning rubbish wholesale, a lot of the →
We had a brilliant day on Sunday, venturing into the wilderness, sacrificing our safety (there were insects and a dead fish) so that YOU will more easily learn Cantonese, the language that sounds like two →
I started learning Cantonese back in the mid-90s. Every morning I would take the 07:00 ferry to work and play cards with the swearing workers. I realised this was the best and fastest way to →
Splendid China is exactly that – splendid. Only 15 to 20 minutes’ drive from Lo Wu is a world of semi naked guys dancing and dancing, Chinese opera shrieking through your bones and every famous →
Come with, come with on a Cantonese language seminar to Guangdong province! Before it disappears.
A Nog, bored with being from Norway Who wanted to be born in Galway Bought dog collars green From an Aussie colleen And went to the St. Patrick’s ball, wei! What kind of poem is →
Chat chat chat – now you can learn Cantonese without going through the nasty and potentially violent experience of being in the same room as me! Namely through the wonderful medium of SKYPE. Hook up →
What do you do in Bangkok? Look for Chinese food, obviously!
羊年， yeung nin. Year of the sheep, goat, ram, lamb, ewe, sow What? Why not keep it simple? Cantonese is simple and easy. YEUNG! Start taking Cantonese lessons with Happy Jellyfish People’s Democratic Language Bureau →
Had a terrible shock in Shenzhen earlier this year when the food hall in Lo Wu Shopping Centre closed down with little or no warning. Then I remembered a comment from wise shopper Andrew and →
It’s no secret that Hong Kong people are very enthusiastic about fraternising with people from the medical profession at any opportunity.
Last night one of my students turned up to the glorious Canto session with eyes square and red, a terrible cough and burning with fever. Ironically, that was his linguistically best performance ever! Must have been the drugs.
Anyway, that made me remember the above film, where you can pick up useful tips about how to talk to people who have to clear their throat, cough once or perhaps have broken a nail:
你有冇睇醫生呀！ Lei yau mou tai yi sang ah!
Hong Kong’s airport – don’t you just love it? I do. It’s so so airport-y! I had been looking forward to spending a couple of hours there before my flight to Mexico (I’m now in Mexico! Wooooooo!) but Lantau’s taxis had other plans. They have decided not to be around in the mornings; apparently they just want to drive people from Tung Chung to Cathay City from 07:00 to 09:00. Who knew? Oh, that’s right, everyone except me.
So I barely had time to dash through the airport with hardly a glance at a shop. The thought of missing planes makes me nervous and I can’t rest properly before I’m at the gate. There was also another issue. A delicate issue which caused me a lot of hand-wringing, to put it mildly. Last time I flew to the USA, I suffered three days of constipation afterwards. I tried ‘special’ teas, I tried walking, I tried drinking lots of hot water, eating fibrous stuff – nothing. It was such an awful feeling, like being poisoned from inside.
And this time I would get straight onto another flight without respite. Ahrrghhh, what to do?
I’d like to say it was this lovely lady who saved me from embarrassment with a flick of her wand, but she was too busy pushing moon cakes on unsuspecting tourists. (I can’t say for sure, but I imagine moon cakes wouldn’t exactly alleviate constipation?) No, the electric internet it was that had the answer.
Constipation is caused by dried-out intestines. Alcohol dries out the intestines. Therefore drinking lots of white wine and little water (because asleep) on a long flight is not smart. It should be the other way around.
Also, a good exercise is sitting down and lifting one knee up to your chin 20 times, then the other 20 times, etc, until you feel you don’t need to do it anymore. I followed both pieces of advice and what do you know! Great success. It was boring though, not drinking wine on the flight. Especially seeing United Airlines – gasp – don’t have individual TV screens at the back of the seats! But health is the most important thing. Good health, I mean. Not bad.
機場 (Gei cheung – machine park/airport)
羊咩屎 （Yeung mee si – goat bleat shit/constipation)
墨西哥 （Mak sai goh – Mexico)
