Last weekend I went to Guangzhou with some students, one of whom had been studying Cantonese since last November.
We spent the day doing our own thing and met up at night. My student, let’s call him Fiodor, came into the restaurant virtually frothing at the mouth.
“I met people today! Chinese people! And I talked to them! And I could understand what they said!!!!”
What is it about Cantonese that people can spend months and months taking a course in it, expecting not to learn a thing? Is it a throwback from French learning at school?
Do people take lessons in anything else at all expecting not to learn it? Do they pay heaps of money for example learning how to perform brain surgery and after say two years come out of it really surprised that they can now administer anaesthesia and open the skull with an electric drill?
It’s a funny thing.
Many times, when I teach my students (victims) new words in Canto, they look at me doubtfully. “Is this really a word?” Really. “If I use this word, will people understand it?” Well, it kind of is their language so chances are, yes!
There are many things about teaching Cantonese that never cease to puzzle me.
Damn – I’ve done it! I’ve gone and betrayed my love, the Cantonese language. Well, all I’ve said about it is true and right, and it is my beloved language number 1A. It’s just that … I can’t jolly well pretend Mandarin doesn’t exist, can I? Especially when you’re actually IN Mando-land itself: Mainland China.
So for my latest DVD, Stay Grounded, I have added lots of Mandarin expressions to help you when you’re travelling around China without a guide. It’s almost two hours of unbridled joy, taking you all the way from Hong Kong to Almaty in Kazakhstan by train, bus, car and camel, all the while seeking out the best food and beer, the least “malpriced” hotels, the most beautiful views and the best times of day to avoid hordes.
We show you how to get out of an embarrassing police semi-arrest, and how to keep your stuff safe whether you have it with you or not.
This film premieres Thursday December 8th at 7pm in the Honolulu Coffee and Cake Shop, 33 Stanley street in Central. As the film is damned long, I will only show a ten minute extract, but it will give you a fair idea of what lurks between the two covers. Do come along! Beer extremely cheap.
Last week my glorious sister Beate came to spend Christmas in Hong Kong which she did and how. But no trip to Hong Kong is complete without a trip to Shenzhen. Is it? No, it isn’t! Halfway to the excellent Lok Ma Chau crossing, (so much better than Lo Wu crossing) or rather, halfway to the excellent bus leaving from the north gate of the Citygate mainlander shopping centre in Tung Chung, I realised we didn’t have any hairspray.
Oh no! I had assured my sister she wouldn’t need any kind of product as I had everything.
Fortunately the excellent Sa Sa, just one quick escalator up from the never-waiting bus, came to our rescue. There it was, a mini canister of Bed Head, the best hairspray ever invented for Scandihooligan hair. I got back on the bus with several seconds to spare, and told my sister about my last hairspray-related incident:
A few days later J and I got on a train to Yunnan!!!!!! Also from Shenzhen.
As we passed the x-ray eagles going into the station, I heard mutters of “hairspray three canisters” but this time I preempted their strike by going up and showing them the little innocent tubes. Tiny ones, not large like in the story above. I sprayed myself in the eye to show it wasn’t Sarin or acid, and they laughed and said okay. Bring on the Yunnan!
市中心 － Si Jung Sam (Citygate Tung Chung)
頭髮噴霧 – Tau fat pan mou (Hair puff mist/hairspray)
雲南 – Wan Lam (Cloud South/Yunnan)
I learnt a new verb today. A taxi driver asked me “有冇 搶香蕉呀？" Yau mou cheung heung chiu ah? (something like that) – Have you CHEUNG bananas?
I thought it meant ‘hoard’ but arriving at the character via an article in Apple Daily, I found that 搶 means rob or grab.
He also told me that HK people are cheung-ing rice, salt and oil like mad. ‘Make a run on the supermarket’ – one word! I like that.
But why? Just to be fashionable? I sauntered into my local Park’N’Shop and it was business as usual. According to the taxi driver the shelves in the rest of Hong Kong are robbed clean. 搶 baby 搶!
Well, I haven’t not said it before but only to a handful of people: if you’re a student of mine studying at the hallowed halls of Honolulu or just want to go to legendary Honolulu Coffee and Cake Shop anyway for some coffee or cake (or both. Or a duck)
whatever you do, don’t take a taxi to Stanley street! Two days ago my student tried to go from Tai Gu (“Koo”) to Stanley street by taxi. It took him more than an hour!
It was because he said “Stanley street”. The driver will then go through the most heavily trafficked area of Wan Chai and down Queen’s Road, which takes half an hour in itself, before it wings its way up D’Aguilar street and the over-packed Stanley street. Madness!
No, what you have to do is tell the driver to go to The Centre. 中環中心 (Jung Wan Jung Sam – Central Centre). That way he’ll go down Connaught Rd and through a couple of tunnels, taking you up Jubilee street from whose corner you can easily dash up to Honolulu under the escalator.
I’m so sorry! I should have told everybody the first day we met. Consider me self-chastised.
士丹利街 (Si dan lei gai – Stanley street)
檀島咖啡餅店 (Tan Dou Gafe Beng Dim – Honolulu Coffee and Cake Shop)
太古 (Tai Gu – Tai “Koo”, Swire)
干諾道 (Gon Lohk Dou – Connaught Road)
大道中 (Daai Dou Jung – Queen’s Road Central)
